Pardes

Pardes means another country, a strange homeland, a painful place, foreign country and a place that is far away from our homeland, hometown, village, neighborhood, street and home.

Allah Almighty gives pain to every human being according to his ability. People who have worked patiently since childhood and are happy in every situation, Allah leads them through difficult stages that others cannot afford.

Those who are sensible, self-sufficient, and concerned about their families, Allah chooses them for a greater mission.

Pardes is a place far from home in a remote area, even in our own country. While moving away from your country to another country is also called a Pardes. However, living abroad is not possible for everyone. Because in a strange place, being able to adjust to the unknown, patiently endure the many unpleasant things, do your own work, polish shoes, wash clothes, wash dishes and sometimes cook yourself, everything is unusual in a foreign country.

Allah Almighty chooses people who are to take on a great responsibility in the days to come. As the financial conditions of the house become so severe that the money-lenders want to take their money back, repeatedly visit and threatens, to marry one sister or several sisters at home, treatment for a serious illness or payment for a rented house that becomes so hard to pay, etc. etc.

Allah is the Master Planner. Whenever a person intends to go abroad, it is the Allah who specifically chooses him for this difficult task. Because that person will be a mercy to the local people there by performing his services in that country and paving the way for those who are unable to perform the task. Along with this, Allah has already given that person the burden of understanding, responsibility and understanding of the sufferings of the family.

When we are youth, we consider ourselves so brave and strong and think that we can easily afford living abroad and save something for our families. While it is only and only Allah's pleasure that Allah has provided us with destinations in our childhood, at which point we could embrace the same torture and imprisonment in Pardes (as foreigners).

• Pardes is a doom which has to be dealt with on a daily basis.
• Pardes is a trial that has to be dealt with smiling face. 
• Pardes is a test with no room for failure.
• Pardes is a place where the land, people, weather, language and the food are all strangers.
• Pardes is a place where everything is contrary to our nature which has to be accepted wholeheartedly.
• Pardes is a place where no one who understand our pains. 
• Pardes is a place where there is no real friend to be shared with.
• In Pardes, there is no real partner. 
• A good time in Pardes is felt more severe than the hardest time in our homeland.
• In Pardes, man fights alone for his survival.
• In Pardes, there is no mother’s affection. 
• In Pardes, there is no father’s kindness. 
• In Pardes, there is no sisters love or brothers shoulder to support.

If you become ill in a foreign country, there is no one to look after, as everyone leaves for his or her own employment. You have to endure your loneliness alone. The notion of Kichri ((کچھڑی a dish prepared for sick persons which include Daal and Rice, seems to revolve around the mind, but no one seems to fry it for you. The war of hope and despair goes on and the difficult and tough moments of the time, sadness, colorless days and long nights are spent in the eyes.

Life in Pardes with its full beauty and charm is visible, the flowers in the garden are open with their colors, the air is refreshing, the sea is in its waves, but the weather inside the Pardesi (one who lives abroad) is incorruptible, the floral fragrance is not felt. There is no message of wind in the air, the moon is muted, and the nights are as horrible as the wilderness. There are tunes in the music, but the songs make the Pardesi scared and the moments of leisure are biting him like a snake. 

The Pardesi, who heads thousands of miles away from home on a busy road looking for work, neither has the feeling of heat nor the worry of distances, a foreigner who fascinates reggae enthusiasts, diligently and hardworking or running an office, running trailers on quiet and sad roads, or heads to sell his company's goods; his heart is lost in the memory of his homeland, the prospect of meeting his loved ones, he does not allow it to be confused, his father's words to ignite his instincts and beats him wherever he needs, mother's memory, mother's anger, mother's rebuke and the small petitions of the sisters, the nodding of the wife, the silence of the children and the smiling faces of their children are sufficient.

In the Pardes, especially in the harsh summers of the Middle East, fasting is done by simply sipping a few sips of water from barely above the throat of a few novice people, because there is nothing to eat during the homogeneous season. In fact, our inner self does not like to eat sufficiently.  Not everything in the residence misses its place. Whatever lies on the bed, the alien faces in the dining room who are emotionally exhausted, cooking and then presenting food are no more than a duty to them. The same food and the same taste are nothing more than mere doubt.

After a day's hard work, when the time of break-up comes to a close, then the same disgusting atmosphere is showing its color. While the company itself arranges dumplings, samosas, fruit licks, lassi (made from milk or yogurt) etc. for every one of us. But after only a few slices and a half palm, only water or sharbat (made from various essences) is consumed. And the memory of the homeland is not only heart-wrenching but also stomach becomes full without having food.

After a month of fasting, it is urged to raise one another at night for Eid prayer. Because Eid prayers are held shortly after dawn. In which often foreigners are asleep. Those who went to prayer did not wear a new suit for the Eid, but they usually performed Eid in ordinary clothes. But in their heart it is their earnest desire that in the backward country, the households should have sewing clothes so that they can have a good Eid and their pocket money was sent to the country before Eid so that no family members will suffer.

After Eid prayers and sermons, a foreigner looks for foreigners like him so that they can say Eid greetings. Because locals call the foreigners strangers and do not mix with foreign workers. After this, the foreigners come to their rooms and go to sleep, and the Eid holidays are spent sleeping. This happens every year.

After the Eid holidays, foreigners leave on their own duties, but the number of locals in the office is very small. The reason for this is that all the locals go to their respective areas on Eid holidays and it takes about a week to come. As the Eid passes for a whole week, the locals pass by saying Eid Mubarak.

A few months pass in the same way in hard labor and isolation and then after a couples of months later, the annual vacation begins to wait. Orders from the homeland start coming. Two or three months are spent in family shopping. For shopping, foreigners have to move to a city far away from their workplace to buy good things so that they can see the happiness on the faces of their loved ones in the home country.

After shopping, there starts packing process.  In this respect cartons are arranged, wide tape is purchased and a number of scissors so that the goods purchased for the holidays are well packed. After packing, the box is tied to a rope. Some Pardesi are unique in this work. That is why their services are hired. Near the holidays, other foreigners also give away some of their belongings to their loved ones.

After waiting for a long way, the holiday comes. The driver of the company arrives at the door of the room. By the time, the Pardesi, get to the airport, a number of thoughts are circulating in his mind. The heart is happy like a garden. The Pardesi is so excited at that and want to fly to the airport without having to travel to the airport, immigration.

But where does every wish come true? Arrived at the airport, and got in line, took the ticket to the counter, booked the luggage, checked the ticket, then to the lounge and sat in there and boarded on the plane and sat on the seat. The journey was quietly cut off and by the grace of Allah came to their homeland.

Collected the luggage, get the Customs and get out. All the housemates were there to receive. Someone hugged, someone took the luggage, and one wore a necklace of roses. After seeing their familiar faces after a while there was some surprise and some joy. Because some faces were not as good as before. Parents began to look old and wives and children were saddened with sad faces.

Upon arriving home, everyone started to wait when the luggage is opened. As soon as the box was opened, everyone got their gifts. Several faces were happy. It seemed that the bitterness of the Pardesi was vanished from his heart and mind as he obtained a unique happiness. There was no Eid in the homeland, but the atmosphere was same as the Eid. The fragrance of cooking was spread in the air and everyone was eager to say their own words.

How the vacation of a month has passed is not known. It was abroad where it was so hard to barely spend a night.  All in all, during the vacation met with the neighbors all met very well. There was some work hanging out in the house, rather, say that were waiting for me and thus completed. And every passing day was a soul punching to me. As the vacation was coming to an end, fear was waking up inside me. And happiness was beginning to fade.

Finally, one day came the end of the entire month's holiday. The family started praying and everyone was giving their own advice. As the children started to get depressed, the parents were ready to face separation. The wife is also ready to drink bitter sip. But my situation was like asking a child to take a bath in the river and he wanted to run away with fear.

The first year passed and could not save enough money.  So everyone had an idea to spend a few more years. But I could not say yes and or no.

If a person is alone and he is being punished, then his steps do not take place, but if all the people in the house are with the punishment, then the person has to raise his feet so that no one will realize his weakness.

There were signs of happiness on everyone's faces but I was not happy at all. And didn't want to go back. Because I knew that again the same awakening, the same sadness, the same loneliness and the same eating and drinking, and waking up and sleeping. But what to do when it is written off that your livelihood is destined to another country, you have to travel by all means.

Thus, most of the life was spent, many Ramadan were spent in the Pardes, all the youth spent working there. What was earned given to the family. The whole life was spent just dreaming but the responsibilities could not be eliminated. The parents died, the siblings were married, the children were grown and we were moving towards old age but still cutting off as foreigners.

May Allah Almighty take all the Pardesis home so that they can spend the remainder of their lives among their people.

Here I think it is important to give a suggestion. That is, if anyone has to leave home to improve their financial situation, he should set up a three-year program. If matters can be resolved in this period, it will be much better. But in the meantime keep in touch with your loved ones and keep coming home whenever possible.

After that, whatever the years are up to, you will be cut off from home, and you will be immersed in a new country environment. This will create the possibility of wasting your precious capital and you will be lost as you pursue the imaginary future that is far away.

If you could not return home, all the happiness of your loved ones that you joined could also be a part of your happiness. By not joining you, those joys will not be part of your life. Likewise, being aware of the daily affairs of your parents, siblings and neighbors will leave you and their relationship will become vulnerable.

The fact is that years later when a man closely associated in love for homeland returns home, he has become a stranger to his own home and homeland. Older parents whom he left in them as youth; at that time they were healthy and relaxed. On return, these parents have lost all of their mouth teeth. In the past, they took care of us and supported our shoulders in every difficulty and helped guide us as well as financially. And today they are waiting for our support. The siblings with whom we used to play and do not do naughty are tired today. Sisters have made their husbands and brothers their wife to serve as homage and service. And friends are so lost in the responsibilities of their own homes that they have no time for you. Your old acquaintances are nowhere to be seen. Some of them are dear to Allah, some have shifted to other cities and some have gone ahead of you and are living in good areas of the city.

The wife and the kids you continue to suffer such great pain, the children have grown up today and your presence has begun to disturb them as they have become accustomed to their routine and learned to live without you. And since your return, they have had a hard time meeting and spending with friends because of you.

The same kids who used to cry when you got to the office before you left the country and greeted you with smiling faces after coming from the office. Since you returned home for good, the same kids are sitting with face up because you disrupted their routine.

While your wife, who used to chat with your neighbor women in your absence; today since you repatriated, she turns off every incoming phone calls that she will reply soon. 

As if returning to the love of your homeland was of no use to anyone. Because the housemates were accustomed to receiving a lump sum draft or money transfer every month, and when you returned it was lost.

Now if you have brought a huge amount of money with you or have already made a lot of money or have managed it, you can make a decent living. Otherwise, your stay here will be much worse than living in a foreign country and you may (may Allah not) see the day you fall.

For those who live in the Pardes with their wives and children, the chances of return are very low. Because babies are the only ones who think of Pardes as their country and mother is with them. Then it happens that you have to go to your city alone to find the happiness you are missing in a foreign country.

Living with family in the Middle East faces more difficult situations. If they have not built their home in their country and there is not enough capital to come to the country to start some business or life. These people try to get a child to live with them. That's why they like to marry their children there.

May Allah keep everyone in their safety and with ease and happiness wherever they are placed.

Abdul Qayum Khan Ghouri - Lahore Pakistan